Science Answers: How Much Sex Should You Really Be Having In A Healthy Relationship?


Licensed psychotherapist and relationship expert Rachel Sussman explains how often is "normal" for couples in happy relationships to have sex. Turns out there's no specific answer.

1. Everybody thinks that everyone's having more sex than them.

2. One of the biggest problems with finding out what the normal amount of sex people should be having is that when it comes to surveys and research people often lie.

3. An ideal sex routine for a married couple could be a couple of times a week. However, if you have a couple with a low sex-drive, they could be very compatible and very much in love with each other maybe that couple is having sex once a week or once a month or even once every couple of months.

4. If this is not a problem for them why should it be a problem in the first place?

5. It is really such a personal choice between the couple. They should be having as much or as little sex as they want to have.

6. However, if you truly feel that you're not sexually satisfied, and your husband or wife isn't responsive; perhaps you haven't brought up your problem to them in the right way.

7. At this point, what you want to do is to initiate a conversation about sex. You probably don't want to do it in the bedroom. Also, don't do it right after you have sex with your partner. Choose a good moment where you have some time to talk. Try to be upfront with your partner.

8. "I love you so much, I'm still attracted to you. It makes me sad that we have sex so infrequently. I'd really love to have more sex with you. "

9. "How are you feeling about that? Are you interested in having a more active sex life?"

10. If you are clear and honest about your problem to your partner, the other person would probably say "I actually would like to have more sex."

Having a healthy sex life does require communication and understanding between the couples.

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