The Lazy Manifesto In 15 Steps!
What is lazy? Who is lazy? What makes a person lazy, and what doesn’t? Here’s a way for you to find out if the lazy manifesto speaks out to you or not.
This manifesto will also set the boundaries of laziness so people will know if they are in the zone or not!
1. If you need to leave your seat to get something, you probably don’t need it that much.
You try and reach the remote, but it’s not within your reach…So you just keep watching what’s on. A similar scenario is the one where you turn the screen keyboard on because the real keyboard is far far away…
2. A true lazy person would rather fight hunger than cook!
If you don’t have the cash to order food, or not enough material to make a sandwich, you will just sit there and survive only with water.
3. You’re never stressed before the finals because you can just study the make-up exam after the finals.
And you also know you will pass one way or another in the end. So, no need to wear yourself out by studying too hard.
4. The sofa is your new bed when you are sleepy.
No one has the energy to walk all the way to the bed. Even if it’s so soft and comfy. lying down on the sofa is ten times better now!
5. Any technological means necessary!
You do everything you can to make things easier and more autonomous for you.
6. Snooze…Snooze…Snoo…
Not just the alarm. You postpone all things. You can write a book on how to avoid deadlines, but you are too damn lazy to work on it.
7. You do everything from where you sit.
Throwing things to shut the lights, not moving your head to look at a different direction, using your feet to turn your electronic devices on, etc. You just can’t move, period!
8. Your living space is designed perfectly to multi-task or sit still.
Your kitchen is right by your toilet and you can flush and move to the bed, still being able to reach the fridge for some snacks. The dream…
9. Your bed is your fortress!
You sleep, eat, watch, and play on the bed. You pretty much spend your whole day there.
10. You use people without thinking twice!
“While you are up and about…” might be your favorite line. No one comes back from the kitchen without some water or snacks for you.
11. You have your own sense of hygiene and tidiness.
It’s ok to just rinse the glass after a drink. You can leave the dishes on the counter or in the machine. You never make the bed, because you are either in it all day, or you will just use it again. You can clean the place once a month, or even a year, if possible!
12. You have tons of excuses to avoid responsibility.
“It’s too cold outside.” “I feel like I’m coming down with something.” “I don’t have money left.”
13. You think again and again and again before acting. If it’s vital, you can move.
“Is this urgent?” “Will I die if I don’t do it?”
14. It’s an art. Maximum efficiency under any circumstances with minimum movement.
And who can deny it?
15. You know what? Being lazy is leaving this manifesto at the 15th entry when it could have gone until the 30th!
Even 15 is too much!
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