Heterosexual Women, Here's What Your Gay Male Friends Want You To Know


Have a gay best friend or gay male friends that you share secrets and spend quality time with? Here's a Buzzfeed compilation of what they want you to know about the homophobic attitudes you might have without noticing.

The fact that you have gay friends doesn't automatically mean that you can't be homophobic.

Being friends with a gay person doesn't give you an excuse to make homophobic remarks or behavior.

It's not a compliment when you say, "You don't look like a homosexual at all."

Find something else to say if you didn't notice someone was gay until they told you.

Not all gay men are interested in fashion or design.

If you think that it's all you can talk about, you're wrong. You could talk about sports, recent events, news, and laugh together at memes. Just don't forget that they are like you.

They aren't the "comfort friends" that you should keep around.

Some women seek out gay men as friends so they can feel comfortable and safe. Don't forget that it's not their job to make you feel less lonely just because they are gay.

You don't have to use LGBT slang to look cool.

If you aren't queer, don't use queer slang to look cool or feel included. It's a waste of effort.

Have a gay colleague? It doesn't mean that you have to delve into that subject unnecessarily.

It's their private life, and they aren't endangered creatures that need special research to survive.

A hot gay man is never a waste of hotness.

Of course there are those who simply adore hot gay men and move on, but there's really no need to go further and say shit like, "He's so hot, but unfortunately gay, what a waste!"

They don't need to have had sex with a man or woman to know if they are gay.

So you can delete that off your "questions to ask a gay friend" list.

Of course, they also have problems with their love life.

It's not a genuine friendship if only one side is talking about themselves and the other always just listens. This is also true when talking about problems in your love life; ask how everything is going and listen.

Don't forget that they can also create families, and have children with their partners.

Being gay doesn't mean not wanting a family. Gay men can adopt or have their own child.

Homosexuals don't have a crazy gaydar.

Don't stereotype your friend by asking them if your crush is gay or not.

A relationship can be active or passive, but this choice is up to the couple.

It's an intimate decision that may or may not have been made. It's a good idea to not get involved with this much private life.

You don't have to only call your gay friend to go out or go to a gay club.

You know, you could also invite them for a coffee, a family dinner, or to watch a movie. :)

Sexuality doesn't identify a person as a whole.

Don't always introduce your friend as "This is X. He's gay, btw," because he is much more than that.

Not all gay men are open about sex.

It's a cliche to think that gay men aren't very selective in sex, and have fully embraced their sexuality. There are some homosexual people who are also afraid of losing their virginity or are shy and reserved.

There's no rule such as "Gay men have to like anal sex."


This is another stereotype.

Be careful with the nicknames gay people call each other, because you aren't entitled to them.

Even if you mean well, you can't call people names such as fairy, fag, or queen without first asking if they are okay with it.

Don't treat them like a clown.

Gay men aren't there to entertain you and definitely not just there for the laughs. They don't always have to be cheery. There's actually a high rate of anxiety and depression among homosexuals.

Be an ally to LGBT people, not a spectator.


It's not enough to go out with gay friends, like with your other friends, be supportive.

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