26 Stages Of Prison Life In The United States (Based On Movies)


1. You ended up in prison, although you are totally innocent or just had to protect your loved ones.

2. Your imprisonment starts after they take your mugshot.

3. As your bus approaches the facility, you've already started to get crushing looks from other prisoners.

4. As you walk through the corridor in an orange uniform, carrying your stuff in your hands and with a guard next to you, all the other inmates will “welcome” you by shouting the hell out of their cell bars, threatening or swearing.

Level of their ‘courtesy’ is proportional to your “baby-facedness.”

5. The first time in your cell (which is no larger than 100 square feet), you meet your bulky cellmate that will probably give you quite a hard time.

The content of the posters hanging on the wall must be a forewarning.

6. Soon, you see your first prison count and meet the guard that will be a pain in your ass for the rest of your time there.

7. The mad inmate in the next cell probably talks a lot, and likes to check the corridor with a mirror.

When he asks what brought you into that hell, and you say you are innocent; he probably laughs out loud and tells you “so is everyone in prison.”

8. It’s finally your turn in the lunch line, but some sulky guy puts some disgusting looking mushy food on your plate (you can imagine that sound) in an aggressive manner.

9. You take your food to a table where you can sit alone, but some prison bully comes by and asks you to give him your food. If you try to be a tough guy, they will probably kick your ass until the guards show up.

Unless you are Jason Statham.

10. When the fight is over, people leave, and some wise old inmate that no one messes with comes to help you.

This wise man is likely to have domesticated a mouse or bird.

11. You talk with your visitors behind a safety glass, through some phone, and your conversations always ends up being interrupted by the guard.

12. On your way back to your cell, you see all the other bulky, meathead types working out and giving you their threatening looks again.

Soon you will join them to intimidate newcomers too.

13. Back in your cell, you see your cellmate curtaining off the bars; so you realize that you can’t stay there any longer.

14. In recreation times, you sit alone in your corner while everyone else plays basketball. Soon, the only other nice guy joins you.

15. It's always good to watch your back in common bathrooms, where everyone takes their showers fully naked.

Not to get stabbed or something, of course.

16. The first time you witness a murder inside, you get ‘warned’ not to tell anyone.

17. Soon, you see your first prison riot, where toilet paper rolls are thrown all around.

18. As you settle, you are given tasks, such as cooking, cleaning or working in library.

19. Once you get to know people, you meet some trader inmates that can provide you ‘goods’ from outside.

20. And they tell you that the currency in prison is cigarette, not money.

21. Your first order would be a razor blade, and you cut off the special part of your cellmate who has been the reason for your one-eye-open sleeping since you came.

22. Now, you have a new cellmate, and he is cool. So you get to know more about life in prison and learn all the tips you need.

He will tell you about all the different gangs inside, their leaders, etc.

23. Once you think about taking guard’s keys, you make up your mind about escaping.

24. As you were working on your perfect escape plan, you find yourself in a fight and you get your ass kicked more than ever in your life.

25. As days pass by, your escape plan starts working out, step by step.

26. In the end, you punish all those who made your prison life hell, and you get your freedom back.

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