15 Horrible Virginity Stories To Make You Feel Lucky!

> 15 Horrible Virginity Stories To Make You Feel Lucky!

The first times of these people are pretty unfortunate. We found their stories on BuzzFeed; and trust me, you’ll feel lucky if you’re not happy your virginity experience.


1. Could be better..

“Long story short, I threw up on his dick and then kneed him in the balls trying to run to the bathroom. We broke up a week later. It was a great time.”

2. Big baby

“He got a call from his mom twice and answered both times. They argued while he was inside of me. FML.”

3. A big mistake

“Didn’t have a condom and I did not want to get pregnant, so my boyfriend made one out of grocery bags and then taped it onto his dick. Hand to God, worst first time ever.”

4. Little siblings, ugh, do we really need them in our lives?

“My boyfriend and I had been together around nine months. I was 18; he was 20. I went to his house, where he lived with his mom and younger brother. We distracted his younger brother with video games for some privacy and headed into the guest room. He wanted to try doggy style, so I flipped over. As he was getting into position, his younger brother came into the room and asked what we were doing (we still had shirts and socks on) and then proceeded to have a 10-minute conversation with us while my boyfriend was trying to extricate himself from me.”

5. Third wheel at its greatest:

“We were both freshmen in college, and we had been together for three years at that point. We lost our virginity while my roommate was still asleep across the room, and we both cried out of guilt after it was over. Thankfully, we’re still together five years later!”

6. Secret life of ‘fish’:

“I lost it to my long-distance boyfriend during his second visit to my freshman dorm. There were adjustable shelves on the wall above my bed and the lowest had my pet fish on it. Right after we finished he stood up to get tissues and knocked into the shelf on the wall, spilling fish water, pebbles, and my fish onto me and my bed. This was at 2 a.m. and the commotion caused my very conservative roommates to come running to see what was going on while we scrambled to put on clothes and clean everything up. It was horrific. (Note: Blair Waldorfish did survive the incident.)”

7. Sexyness #fail

“I tried to do the sexy ‘pull your bra off through your dress’ and ended up scratching my arm and drawing blood, which slowed things down a bit. To this day I have a faint scar on my arm to remind me not to repeat seduction techniques from TV.”

8. Emergency!

“My ex-husband and I were very involved in church and were both virgins on our wedding night. Immediately after doing the deed, he began to have a panic attack. Being 18 and inexperienced in life, we both assumed he was dying. I frantically called 911 and an ambulance was sent right away. I fielded the onslaught of firefighters and paramedics in my T-shirt and underwear. I’m sure they all had a good laugh that night!”

9. Spill the SEEDS?!:

“We were both virgins, and we tried to have sex but it was so painful I had to stop before he came. I cried so hard that I threw up, and while this was happening he was holding me, saying, ‘We’re still virgins until I spill my seed.’ SPILL MY SEED. His exact words.”

10. A whole new way of sexting:

“We’d gone back to his apartment to have a good time. Everything was perfect for my first time: a little wine, romantic lighting, sexy music. As we got into the heat of the moment and I started being a little more ~vocal~ than anticipated, his phone started vibrating. Turned out his roommate could hear us very clearly and was texting him our coitus quotes.”

11. Hot tub failure

“I lost my virginity in a hot tub. Probably not the best decision because water is a terrible lubricant and he was hung like a horse. Needless to say it wouldn’t go in all the way, so when we got out to finish the deed somewhere else, gravity took over and I ended up bleeding like crazy all over the place. He was pretty cool about it though, thankfully.”

12. Jetsons

“He watched The Jetsons the whole time, and lasted less than 20 seconds. He then locked himself in the bathroom, upset that he didn’t last longer. I had to comfort him and it was just a terrible experience.”

13. Thanks, mum

''My mum walked in, low-key screamed a bit, then ran and told my dad.”

14. Weird-ass roommate

“Halfway through, his roommate walked in and didn’t leave. He just sat there and watched. We didn’t realize he was there until it was over. That roommate was weird.”

15. Music is everything

15. Music is everything

“The theme song from Dawson’s Creek was playing while I lost my virginity. It was over before the first scene.