1. “This is from my hometown newspaper. I think it’s smart they discontinued the ’wanna know where this child lives?’ section.”
2. A loving husband and father.
3. He crashes meetings.
Daughter: You left the fire burning all night.
Silence. A slight breeze. A crow circles in the distance.
6. “Rome is stunning. And they have a Caesar’s Palace there. Hope you finish construction soon.”
7. “Visiting The Kremlin today. They don’t sell stuff like this at IKEA. As far as I know...”
8. “I’m really into the whole tiny sunglasses trend. Thanks for your support, everyone!”
9. “Early prototype for the Green Lantern mask. People could tell it was an old tissue, so we went with a CGI version.”
10. “This is Brutus. He’s over 110 years old. He’s telling me his life story but in real time.”
11. “Yesterday I took a refresher course — focusing on infant and toddler CPR. It takes only a few hours and it’s also kinda, sorta fun. Thank you to Dan from Viva First Aid for the lesson. And thank you to these two helpful yet lifeless dolls whose vacant ocular cavities will haunt me until end times.”
12. “2015. First time in the suit. It was so clean. So innocent. We both were.”