22 Best Shower Thoughts Of The Year That Will Wreck Your Life!


Let us blow your mind!

1. If your identical twin got plastic surgery, it would be hard not to feel a little insulted.

2. Mushrooms have three settings: Poisonous, tasty and magic.

3. If you're aroused by dirty talk, your genitals are technically voice activated.

4. At the age of 60, Snoop Dogg will be 420 in dog years.

5. Learning about sex by watching porn is like learning to drive by watching Fast and Furious.

6. The Invisible Man could have a perfectly happy, ordinary relationship with a blind person.

7. If cookies have a 400 year life span, then Han Solo is basically like Chewbacca's third dog.

8. A man getting on his knees in front of a woman is very different from a woman getting on her knees in front of a man.

9. If people could sample a fit body for 5 minutes, they'd probably be a lot more motivated to get fit.

10. Tinder is the opposite of porn site advertisements.

There actually are a ton of hot singles in my area, but none of them are interested in me.

11. Somewhere, there is a middle-aged billionaire whose future trophy wife hasn't even been born yet.

12. Daenerys Targaryen can eat a hot pocket straight from the microwave.

13. A strip tease is basically the human version of an unboxing video.

14. Wandering is just wondering with your legs.

15. When we're young, we sneak out our house to go to parties...

When we're old, sneak out of parties to go home...

16. Johnny Bravo was a children's show about a grown man trying to get laid...

17. A date is like a sex interview...

18. If you're rich and drink alcohol in the middle of the day you're successful.

If you're poor and drink alcohol in the middle of the day then you're an alcoholic.

19. Kanye West probably thinks he is genius because he spends most his time with the Kardashians.

20. Being lonely is believing you're received a message when it's just your battery at 15%...

21. Pornstars don't have private parts.

22. If the Hulk ever eats a full meal Bruce has to deal with some incredibly large poops.

How do you feel?
Tears of Joy
Relieved Face
Clapping Hands
Thumbs Down
Send Feedback