35 Best Chuck Norris Jokes On The Internet

35 Best Chuck Norris Jokes On The Internet

Jean S.
September 21 2022 - 02:13pm

Chuck Norris is an American actor who starred in different action movies. Norris is very popular in the 90s which is the age of action movies. He starred in The Delta Force (1986) and Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection. He is also a member of Expendables 2 (2012). 

There was a time on the internet when memes about Chuck Norris were popular and everyone was laughing about it. Here are 35 of the best Chuck Norris jokes of all time!

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  • Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

  • Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

  • Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

  • If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.

  • Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick butt at the same time.

This series of jokes indicate that Chuck Norris is so badass that people make jokes about him being so badass. It can be anything absurd, and it still is funny. Even the things we had a hard time doing when we were children became easy for Chuck. 

In these jokes, Chuck has the ability to bend Space, Time, Math, and Physics to his liking. Maybe Chuck can do everything that humans think is impossible to do.

  • When the boogeyman goes to bed, he looks in the closet for Chuck Norris.

  • Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

  • Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you answered the wrong phone.

  • When Chuck Norris plays dodgeball, the balls dodge him.

  • Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.

The things that we are scared of when we are kids and even as adults are, according to these jokes, scared of the legend Chuck Norris. Even Freddy Krueger and other creatures that people use to scare kids do not compare to Chuck. In fact, the Boogeyman's boogeyman is Chuck. This series of jokes shows that Chuck is not affected by fear; even the things we fear are the ones cowering when they hear the name Chuck Norris.

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  • Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to season his meat.

  • Chuck Norris plays Jenga with Stonehenge.

  • Chuck Norris won an arm wrestling tournament with both arms tied behind his back.

  • Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.

  • The sun has to wear sunglasses when Chuck Norris glances at it.

Chuck Norris's strength is one of the main concepts of the memes in the Chuck Norris jokes. It shows how strong Chuck is because even the things that it seems out of this world Norris can do one way or another.

Chuck can do even the most dangerous things without breaking a sweat. This just proves that Chuck Norris' strength is unparalleled, and it will not be surpassed.

  • When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the weights get in shape.

  • Chuck Norris invented airplanes because he was tired of being the only person that could fly.

  • Chuck Norris once went skydiving but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.

  • When Alexander Graham Bell invented the very first telephone, there were missed messages from Chuck Norris.

  • Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.

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The jokes assume that Chuck Norris might have discovered or invented many things due to his awesomeness. There's a joke that he is the one who formed the grand canyon because he went sky diving. Chuck Norris might know the secret to how airplanes fly. He might also be the reason why some animals exist due to his accidental movements.

The jokes also claim that although inventors out there claim that they discovered something, in reality, Chuck Norris did it first.

  • If Chuck Norris was on The Titanic, the iceberg would have dodged the ship.

  • Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the hell he wants.

  • The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them.

  • Chuck Norris found the last digit of pi.

  • Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because Chuck Norris only recognized the element of surprise.

One of the reasons why people love Chuck Norris jokes so much is because of how impossible they are. They show how no matter how far-fetched the statement is, it will be possible because, hey it's Chuck Norris.

For example, people have been questioning experts on how hand sanitizer only eliminates 99.99% of the germs, but when it comes to Chuck, he can eradicate it 100%.

Even the smartest mathematicians in history do not know the end digit of pi because pi is an infinite number, but Chuck Norris knows it because he's Chuck Norris.

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  • Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.

  • When Chuck Norris goes to a restaurant, the waiter tips him.

  • When Thanos snapped his fingers, he disappeared. Chuck Norris doesn't like snapping.

  • Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as 'You Know Who.'

  • Whenever Chuck Norris peels onions, the onions always cry.

Another funny joke about Chuck Norris has to do with Thanos from the Marvel Cinematic Universe. In the movie, Thanos snapped his fingers and half the living things in the universe disappeared. With Chuck Norris, it's Thanos who would've disappeared.

  • Chuck Norris is able to slam a revolving door.

  • Chuck Norris can pull a wheelie when riding a unicycle.

  • Chuck Norris once had an arm wrestling contest with superman. I'm not going to say who won, but the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside for the rest of his life.

  • Chuck Norris walked into chemistry class and ripped the Periodic Table of Elements off of the wall. Why? Because the only element Chuck Norris needs is the element of surprise.

  • When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.

Did you like these Chuck Norris jokes? Let us know!

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