These 24 Bathroom Stories Are Both Hilarious And Gross At The Same Time!

These 24 Bathroom Stories Are Both Hilarious And Gross At The Same Time!

Elsa Quartet
April 22 2017 - 01:08pm Last Update: April 22 2017 - 11:06pm

We all have our private bathroom routines that we don’t share with anyone because they’re probably not only weird but also gross af. So here are 24 of those stories from 24 brave people who shared the gross/funny things they do in the bathroom!


1. A different use for a bidet.

1. A different use for a bidet.

'I use bidets for...other reasons. Sometimes I'm in there long enough to arouse suspicion, but whatever. Those are the next best thing to a showerhead.'

2. The tweezers.

2. The tweezers.

'I use tweezers to pull out the blackheads in my nose. The ones that are kinda half out, but exfoliating can’t get rid of.'

3. For the shaving cream obsessed.

'I like to rub shaving cream on my body in the shower. I like the way it feels, plus it’s a great time to shave.'

4. The scooper.

'I use a floss pick to 'scoop' out blackheads one by one. It’s so satisfying to see a little tower coming out of my nose.'

5. The broken-arm bleacher.

'I bleach my arm hair! Once my roommate walked into the bathroom and saw the white goop on my arms and she freaked out thinking that I had broken my arms and had casts.'

6. The quick poop hack.

'I poop with my feet up on the toilet seat. It takes my average poop time from six minutes to less than one minute.'

7. The hot water peel.

7. The hot water peel.

'I love soaking my feet in hot water and peeling off the dead skin. I know it’s gross but it’s satisfying at the same time.'

8. The squatter.

'The first thing I do when I get into the shower is squat down and pee into the drain. It’s just so refreshing to clear out my insides before cleaning my outsides.'

9. A fast track to stardom.

'Not exactly gross, but I do enjoy pretending I’m a talk show host. I talk about stuff that never happened, like me cooking an amazing meal or meeting a celebrity.'

10. The amateur yogi.

'I stretch naked after taking a hot shower.'

11. A private way to deal.

'Conquer panic attacks in privacy.'

12. The secret masturbator.

'My family doesn’t know I masturbate, so that’s what I do in the bathroom. Thank God they don’t ask me why I’m in there for a while…'

13. The open curtain.

'I shower with the curtain open because I’m terrified a spider will be on the curtain. No one knows, not even my husband.'

14. The body wash grind.

'I heard that someone rubs their entire body in body wash and then grinds against the wall like a porn star auditioning for a big role. I don’t know who she is, but yeah…weird way to shower, huh?'

15. The cat cuddler.

'I play with and cuddle my cats whilst sitting on the toilet. I get the best undivided attention from them this way.'

16. The makeshift urinal.

'I pee in the sink. Doesn’t matter whose sink it is… I treat it like a urinal. I justify it by running enough water to 'clear' the drain.'

17. A confidence boost.

'The first thing I do in the morning is to go to the bathroom and stare at myself for 15 minutes, practicing my smile for the day.'

18. The toilet ballerina.

'I sit on the toilet until my legs fall asleep. So that I can laugh hysterically as I attempt ballet moves that I can do with ease otherwise.'

19. The bubbler.

'When I’m in the shower and have soap on my hands, sometimes I clench my fists and open them and then blow to make giant bubbles!'

20. The "grabber."

'Not something I do often, but every now and then I have trouble with bowel movements when they reach the end of the line, I have to reach up there and pull them out. It makes me feel like the grossest person in the world, but physically I feel better.'

21. The at-home plastic surgeon.

'Some brands of pads put a little rectangular sticker to hold the wrapper they come in. I like to put that on my nose and pretend I had a nose job.'

22. The performer.

'I play music on my phone and act out my concert/music video/live television performance.'

23. The person dealing with dry nips.

'I have really really dry nipples and sometimes before I shower I like to squeeze them and peel the dry skin. It's fascinating to me.'

24. And the painful picker.

24. And the painful picker.

'Dig out pubic ingrown hairs with a safety pin.'

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