17 Commonly Used Excuses To Masturbate (Like You Need Any)

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We’ve collected the most commonly used, random excuses people make to masturbate. It’s easy and fun. You can try all of these at home. Actually, someone should create a “random excuses for masturbation” generator. Until then, here are 17 of them for you to get the idea. Read them as if you’ve never used them before.

1. “Nobody’s home.”

2. “Can’t fall asleep.”

3. “I’m bored. There’s nothing else to do.”

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4. "I just thought of something."

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5. “I have an exam tomorrow. I should be studying.”

6. “It’s a scientific fact that you should get yourself off before the first date.”

7. “I am stressed out…”

8. “There’s nothing on TV.”

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9. "Well, I'm drunk."

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10. “I have a headache.”

11. "Woke up like this."

12. “I’m gonna take a shower in a minute anyway.”

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13. “I am depressed.”

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14. “I just closed the online newspaper tab after reading shocking, terrible news from around the world. There’s so much evil in this world. Yeah. F*ck it.”

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15. “Everyone else in the house is asleep.”

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16. “My mind is full of crap. I should relax.”

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17. “I think I’m falling in love.”

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How do you feel?
Lovely
Scream
Tears of Joy
Relieved Face
Clapping Hands
Thumbs Down
Angry

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