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17 Commonly Used Excuses To Masturbate (Like You Need Any)

17 Commonly Used Excuses To Masturbate (Like You Need Any)

Elsa Quartet
October 31 2016 - 09:32pm

We’ve collected the most commonly used, random excuses people make to masturbate. It’s easy and fun. You can try all of these at home. Actually, someone should create a “random excuses for masturbation” generator. Until then, here are 17 of them for you to get the idea. Read them as if you’ve never used them before.

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1. “Nobody’s home.”

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2. “Can’t fall asleep.”

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3. “I’m bored. There’s nothing else to do.”

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4. "I just thought of something."

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5. “I have an exam tomorrow. I should be studying.”

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6. “It’s a scientific fact that you should get yourself off before the first date.”

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7. “I am stressed out…”

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8. “There’s nothing on TV.”

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9. "Well, I'm drunk."

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10. “I have a headache.”

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11. "Woke up like this."

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12. “I’m gonna take a shower in a minute anyway.”

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13. “I am depressed.”

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14. “I just closed the online newspaper tab after reading shocking, terrible news from around the world. There’s so much evil in this world. Yeah. F*ck it.”

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15. “Everyone else in the house is asleep.”

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16. “My mind is full of crap. I should relax.”

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17. “I think I’m falling in love.”

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