Are You Smooth Enough? Try To Impress Mia On This Date Night Quiz If You Can ;)
Time to check out how smooth you are with this test. You haven't been with anyone in a long time and it looks like you're totally cool about it... But secretly you're fretting over it. Your buddy Manuel is aware of this so he's trying to match you with girls. His latest suitor is his good friend from school, Mia. You agree to go out with her and today's the day. You have Mia's number, now let's see if you can manage to stop being single by impressing her.
Mia answered your call! How do you start?
"Mm, interesting... How would you rock my world? ;)" But wait! This is not Mia, it's her mom speaking 😲
"Mature woman?? Who do you think you are! Shut up and never call this house again, you nasty brat."
You just called Mrs. Lotsky old. Come on man, that's rough. You failed.
You hung up and turned on the TV. Maybe there's a nice movie playing tonight to chill out.
"Oh you're Mia's friend! I hope you were joking just now... Here she is," - A younger voice comes on: "Hello?"
"Ugh, so sick of all these boys, you're all perverts!" exclaims Mia and hangs up on you. Maybe you can call back and try your luck with Mrs. Lotsky. 😉
"Yeah I'm ready," says Mia. You reply "I'll be there in 15," and start getting ready. Don't forget anything... Phone? Check. Wallet? Check. Keys? Check. You are parked outside her house exactly 15 minutes later.
Waiting... More waiting... It's been an hour now, no sign of Mia.
You yelled her name and a woman went outside, walking towards your car. Might be Mia's grandmother.
She smiles and says "You must be Mia's date! Come inside, she's getting ready."
"-I'm fine, you?"
You ring the doorbell and an old woman opens the door. She gestures you to come in. A voice from upstairs yells "Almost ready! Make yourself comfortable." You go to the living room, the grandmother is staring into space and grinning. A man who might be the father is watching TV in his PJs and there's a toddler playing with toys.
You enter the house. A voice from upstairs yells "Almost ready! Make yourself comfortable." You go to the living room, the grandmother is staring into space and grinning. A man who might be the father is watching TV in his PJs and there's a toddler playing with toys.
You winked but there's no response. You wink a second time but still, nothing. It's like she's in her own world.
She says "I'm her mother, wait a second I'll find her," so you wait. Mia comes on and says "Hey it's Mia."
You look at where she's looking but don't understand anything. She starts laughing but keeps looking at the same place.
You go up to her and wave. She yells "Get out of the way, don't you see Oprah's bringing me cocktails."
The granny leans even closer and whispers "I saw your dingdong as you peed, that's why I'm laughing."
You're watching TV with the father, it's been 10 minutes but you haven't exchanged any words. Finally during commercial break, he turns to you and asks "So, you're going out with Mia?"
He laughs out loud and says "Her mother likes expensive places." He nudges you and says "I'm going to the kitchen. Want a beer, young man?"
You start drinking and the conversation gets animated. Soon he's tipsy and talking about his sex life. He tells you that he's bored of Mia's mother and doesn't want to sleep with her anymore. He says "I know a few good bars, young man. Get up, let's go get some chicks."
Finally Mia comes down. She's wearing leggings and a tight blouse, looking incredible. She says "Let's go," so you go out and get in the car. Small talk may work, maybe a few small compliments will catch her attention.
Mia smiles and says "Haha thanks, I have a pretty strict diet." She liked your compliment.
You sit at the bar and have a few drinks. You're having a good time but Mia seems a little bored.
You talk a little about Manuel but Mia gets a little distraught. She finally confesses that she's had a crush on him for a while.
You talk about her family and she tells you that her parents have been having big issues lately.
Single life rules.
You gave up on waiting and decided to go home. You stopped at a fast food place and had a meal. Went home, watched a movie. went to sleep. Yeah, you missed the girl but it probably wasn't worth it. No regrets.
You fell asleep in the car.
You waited and waited but she never came out. The night went on and you fell asleep. You woke up to a knock on the window, and it was Mia! But it was already the morning.
'Omg I'm sooooo sorry!' said Mia.
'I waited for you all night!' you said and started yelling. It was like she was making fun of you!
Maybe you should try being more active next time, instead of waiting for women.
Did you really have to yell so much?
You yelled again and the lady went nuts. Just as she approached you, Mia ran down yelling 'GRANDMAAA' and came up to her.
She was ready, with full makeup, leggings, and a tight blouse, looking super hot. 'You ready, babe?' you asked. She gave a mean look.
The grandmother went even crazier and fainted. You both took her to the hospital and spent the night there.
Good intention is half of the success.
You came here for Mia but hit on her grandmother. Maybe you had a chance but you can't just say these things. The woman's eyes widened and she started yelling at you. Panic ensued and you ran away. At least you tried, and believed in yourself! The intention is half of success.
Confidence is key.
'What do you mean, hi again? Have some confidence, dude, you've been mumbling constantly. Please stop talking to me.'
Too much confidence.
'Who do you think you are? You don't even know me. Ugh, why is it always me that finds these jerks!' She hangs up on you.
Congrats, you got knocked out.
The man gave you a harsh stare and punched you in the face. That's the last you remember, you woke up in the hospital and your whole body was aching. You asked for it, dude!
Result? 0 x Wasted = 0.
You went out with the man, to a bar he liked. He drank way too fast and at some point, he couldn't even stand still. You decided to keep up and ended up blacking out. You woke up miserably hung over, remembering nothing.
What the hell kind of compliment is that?!
'What, that's such a girly comment. Shoes super cute, wtf does that even mean to you? Just drop me off back home, go paint nails with your buddies.'
You passed the speed limit of flirting...
'What, how are you going so fast, just because I was friendly for a bit? Drop me off back at my place, now.'
Check out your alcohol problem.
You drank too much and puked on her. On. First. Date. She got up and left.
Wrong trick, man. She's wise.
'So you're betraying your best friend for a girl? What a douche.'
She left, the bill's all yours to pay.
Mia is sensitive in this subject.
'So what if they're divorced, I'm explaining you my problems and you bring the subject to your parents. It's a big deal for me. It's been boring anyway and it's late. Let's end tonight.'
It's gonna be a long night 😉
You started talking about relationships and you both got super into it. You jumped from relationships to art and philosophy and talked for a long time. She realized how much you've read and got impressed. You didn't even notice the time fly, and it was suddenly last call. Perfect opportunity: you invited her to continue back at your place and she accepted! After this point, you're good, if you brought it up to here you know what to do next 😎 You're good at this man, smooth and charming. Way to go!
You ask; "Where are you looking?" She says; "There."
You go over to the toddler and he says; "Hello mister, I'm Tommy. Are you going to see my sissy naked?"
So you're GAY?!
The kid started yelling 'So you're GAAAY???!!' which prompted Mia to run down and say 'Seriously? Why are you wasting my time? Just get out.'
You tried to explain the situation to no use. Had to leave.
You got knocked out.
The kid started yelling 'This guy's gonna bang my sis!!!' so the father got up, walked over, punched you right in the face. That's the last thing you remember; you woke up in the hospital and your whole body was aching.
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