26 Effective Conversation Starters to Get to Know Someone Better

26 Effective Conversation Starters to Get to Know Someone Better

Jean S.
September 21 2022 - 02:49pm

Imagine this, you're at the bar, and you spot a good-looking girl or guy. You saw them looking in your way, probably a subtle sign of them wanting you to come over, so you mustered up all your strength and walked towards their table'- expecting to be all smooth, but there's one problem: your mind went blank, so you're there, standing in front of them looking awkward.

It sucks, right? 

But worry not because we've all been there, and in order for you to not mess up your next conversation, this article will help you!

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"Tell me about yourself."

A straightforward question beats no other. This is a great way to ask someone without asking unnecessary questions.

"You look great in those [insert here]!"

There's no better way to start a conversation than admiring their clothes, shoes, make-up, or hair. You can throw in a question here and there, such as where did they get it or what brand it is, just to show you are interested in them. After that, you can introduce yourself.

"What have you been reading lately?"

A perfect conversation starter for bookworms. This is a chance for you to know what their thoughts are about the book they have been reading and get to know about their interests. If you don't have anything on your reading list, you might as well ask for book recommendations.

"What made you swipe right?"

This one's for those people who use dating apps. It's a great move and also fun and interesting to know why they swiped right on you. The answer doesn't have to be 'deep' since you only posted a limited amount of information on your profile. Just a short answer from them will suffice. Plus, this is only a conversation starter.

"What's your favorite song?"

A song can capture someone's state of mind and music taste. You can also know someone's personality by asking them what their favorite song is.

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"Happy birthday!"

Or any other greeting. 'Happy New Year!' 'Merry Christmas!' 'Happy Valentine's!' can sometimes lead to unexpected friendships and relationships. It doesn't always have to be a birthday or Christmas for you to greet them. It may be simple, but it can be quite effective.

"What's your hidden talent?"

Fun facts are a great way to start a conversation and a great way to know someone.

"What do you do to get rid of stress?"

Everyone gets stressed sometimes, and everyone has their own coping mechanisms. Asking someone about their coping mechanism for stress is a great conversation starter, and you might know what your next stress coping mechanism will be.

"What are the three words that can best describe you?"

You can ask this question to know how they view themselves. Don't be scared of asking a follow-up question on why they chose those words.

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"How did you become friends?"

If you have a mutual friend, maybe you can ask how they ended up being friends with your friend. In that way, you have a conversation starter, and at the same time, you would end up knowing more about them by evaluating the way they talk about their friend.

"What is your perfect weekend?"

Asking this might let you know their hobbies or interests during their break. Who knows, maybe you can do it with them.

"What's the last great show you binged?"

This is similar to #3, but this time, it's about movies. This is a good way to know their thoughts about the last show, and perhaps they can recommend it to you, too.

"What are you drinking?"

This is great if you are at a birthday party or in a bar. Asking someone about their drink will make space for more conversation. Don't forget to ask if it's good or if they would recommend it.

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"What's the most useful thing you own?"

Asking this will also help you start a conversation. You can also get some ideas from them and start using them too.

"What did you want to be when you grew up?"

We have all been asked like this when we were kids, and it is nice to have a follow-up when you get older. This is a good question to ask because a lot of things can be unpacked.

"What's your most 'controversial' opinion?"

People love giving their own two cents on a certain topic or their 'hot takes.' Asking someone about their opinion will make them feel that you are interested in them. Also, maybe you can share a thing or two about your own controversial opinion.

"What is the most annoying habit a person can have?"

We all have our own personal pet peeves, and knowing theirs might help you in the future to not do it.

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"What is the strangest dream you ever had?"

Even if the dream might seem a little weird, it's a nice way to start a conversation. You can also share your own and perhaps both of you can decipher what its meaning is.

"Think your pet will like me?"

Consider this a non-serious question meant to elicit a reaction. It's also not a common one, so you might be able to garner a laugh or at least a smile.

"Who in your life brings more joy?"

It's nice to talk about people you love, especially those people who bring happiness into your life. This is also a great way to assess whether they treasure those relationships that surround them.

"Who had the biggest impact on the person you become?"

Every one of us has our own stepping stones, and we cannot be who we are right now if it was not for them, so asking this question will not only produce a deep conversation, but it will also help the other person treasure that person because of the impact they gave.

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"Are you a night owl or an early bird?"

Asking this is fun because if they say they are a night owl, you can ask how often they stay up after midnight. If they say they are an early bird, you can ask what time they usually get up.

"What do you consider a disgusting habit?"

We all have our own icks. If you figure out what they find a 'disgusting' habit, maybe you can self-check and see if it applies to you. If it does, maybe it's time for you to stop doing it, especially when they are around.

"If you had to change your name, what would it be?"

Maybe some of us are imagining a different life, and one of them is imagining a different name. Don't forget to ask what their lifestyle would be like if they had that name.

"What is your guilty pleasure?"

This one might seem spicy, but we all have coping mechanisms or pleasures that we crave for. If someone knew, we would feel embarrassed, but it's okay. It's a good way to start a conversation.

"What is your fear?"

We all have our own fears, and sharing some of them might make us feel less afraid or alone.

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Final Words

There are more conversation starters aside from the aforementioned list, but these are one of the best ways to start a conversation. Feel free to use them for your next conversation, and just remember to be casual when striking up a conversation!

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