Didn't your eye doctor give you good news today? Is your nearsightedness a bit more concerning than before? That's alright, you have to learn to laugh at things that make your life a living hell (I guess). Well, even if you can't all the time, try to enjoy these things that only nearsighted people can understand. That's something special, isn't it?
1. You're in a public place and you see someone wave hello from afar and you respond automatically and wave back, only to realize that it wasn't meant for you.
2. When they tell you that "you look different without glasses," you inevitably wonder whether you should feel hurt or flattered.
3. When you put in a dry contact lens you feel the same pain you would feel if you put a broken glass bottle into your eye.
4. Each time you go to the optometrist you're blinder than the previous time. This is an irrefutable truth. You've never heard the doctor say something like "oh look, your nearsightedness has decreased."
5. You try on 200 different pairs of glasses, you can't make up your mind.
6. You grew up watching how cinema and TV distinguished the nerd from the rest of the cast: with glasses.
7. That awkward moment when you can't find your glasses and you lose all dignity left in this world while you touch every surface of your house.
8. When you're sitting in the last row of the lecture hall and they decide to use the board.
9. Sometimes, when you're in one of those situations where you can't see a thing, your hearing also begins to fail.
10. If you had a quarter for every time someone tries on your glasses and shouts "YOU'RE BLIND," you would be bathing in the sea of your own private island where you landed using your personal helicopter.
11. You were never able to cheat in school because you could barely make out the edges of the sheet of paper of the person sitting next to you.
12. When you go to the movies with a group of friends and they decide to sit in the last row... are they really your friends?
13. If you use contact lenses, you recognize that awful moment when something gets into your eye and you want to rip it out like a mad person.
14. It's possible for you to use contact lenses because your nearsightedness is through the roof and, if you don't, your frame and glasses would be super thick and your eyes would look tiny.
15. When you're using a new prescription, you feel that you're high on LSD for a few minutes: everything is so vivid and colorful, it's crazy.
16. When you see someone who doesn't need glasses but wears them just to feel like a hipster, a little part of you dies.
17. Let's talk about that times that your glasses steam up because it's too cold.
18. That moment of existential crisis when you're waiting for the bus or to be picked up in a car.
19. At concerts, you've gotten used to just listening to the musicians, since there's no way you'd ever actually be able to see them, too.
20. If you wear glasses and you go to an amusement park, if you go to a pool or the beach... let's just say you don't have it as easy as the rest of humanity.
21. But this is all irrelevant because the important thing is being healthy.