20 Tweets So Relatable That It's Kinda Creepy!

I love seeing your friends whilst they’re in work and they’re interacting with customers like hahahahahahah that is not the real u

— Aoife Byrne (@Aoifesbyrne) 22 ноября 2018 г.

sometimes i get really concerned about things very suddenly like i’ll be chillin then all the sudden be like “o shit where’s my birth certificate”

— jenna death (@dumper_pupper69) 22 августа 2018 г.

*Girls in the bathroom at the bar* omg you’re gorgeous, here use my makeup, screw your ex you’re so much better than him, add me on snap, ily5ever

*Girls outside of the bathroom* if you bump into me one more time I’m going to fight you

— Jodi Capps (@Jodiiilynne) 22 ноября 2018 г.

why don’t grocery stores participate in black friday?? i don’t need 20% off a flatscreen - give me half price tide pods and $1 coffee creamers and then you better believe i’ll be at the doors at 3am

— sarah kirby (@sarahgkirby) 23 ноября 2018 г.

PSA: Don't EVER let your printer know that you've waited until the last minute to print something out and you're in hurry because they can sense fear.

— Peter (@OkigboXL) 24 ноября 2018 г.

I am thankful that I’m hotter now than I was in high school and that technology has evolved in a way that makes it easy to remind all the people who wronged me of this fact.

— Joel Kim Booster (@ihatejoelkim) 22 ноября 2018 г.

Don't ever let a recipe tell you how much garlic to put in. You measure that with your heart.

— Weclock (@weclock) 11 ноября 2018 г.

Was speaking to a nurse on placement and she’s like “do you ever feel like you use all your niceness at work and then when you get home you’re not nice to anyone in the house” and I couldn’t relate anymore if I tried 😭

— 𝐋 𝐈 𝐒 𝐀 (@yllekasil) 11 ноября 2018 г.

Why is my skin always trying to play me????? Do u not see me buying expensive things 4 u????? Taking the time to figure u out??? Hydrating so much I gotta pee every 2 seconds??? What is ur love language???? What will make u happy????? HOW DO I LOVE U!!!!!!

— Maya Murillo (@mayainthemoment) 31 августа 2018 г.

*A white dad at a restaurant who just paid his bill*

His Brain:
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it

Dad:
"You guys ready to rock and roll?"

— B-Jones (@BrianJones01) 13 ноября 2018 г.

Someone with 10k followers on insta:
-pretty
-steady income
-no talent
-happy appearance
-travels the world
-$10 for promo

Someone with 10k followers on twitter:
-cartoon avi
-just so poor
-funny
-openly sad
-rarely leaves house
-venmo $5 pls I'm hungry

— Joey ⚡️ (@joeygllghr) 18 ноября 2018 г.

hate when people ask if ur on drugs/drunk when ur just having fun like no some of us have the natural personality of a crackhead sorry

— Katy Koons (@kaatykoonss) 28 июля 2017 г.

I need more friends who understand that I still want to be invited but I'm not going

— Dumb Beezie (@dumbbeezie) 20 июня 2017 г.

How to adult:

At work? Want to go home.

At home? Want to do something.

Doing something? Want to be in bed.

In bed? Don't sleep.

— You know (@Tmoney68) 29 декабря 2015 г.

The most important thing I've learned in life, and I can't stress this enough: you gotta make a salad in a bigger bowl than you think

— Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad) 14 мая 2018 г.

me: why do i feel terrible
brain: coffee is not a food group
brain: eat a vegetable
brain: sleep
me: guess we'll never know
brain: oh my god

— do not interact with this tweet (@aplethoras) 14 августа 2016 г.

I’m PISSED I spent my skinny years thinking I was fat

— ᴬᵘˢᵗⁱⁿ (@Austin_James74) 10 ноября 2018 г.

"Well, I did everything I could," I said, having given up quite easily.

— Floyd (@dafloydsta) 28 декабря 2016 г.

[me, always]
i hate literally everyone
[someone hurts my feelings]
why is this happening. how can u do this to me, the prince of kindness

— dream ghoul (@TheDreamGhoul) 19 июля 2016 г.

Sorry I’m late I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes staring at the wall

— Brock (@ImTheeBrock) 19 мая 2018 г.