Dank!.. Here are 21 tweets that are both funny and sad.Source: https://www.buzzfeed.com/katangus/funny-...
My annoying little cousin is bragging about how he sleeps in a race car bed. Whatever, you little idiot.. I sleep in a real car.— Ryan Patricks (@Ryan_Patricks) 6 августа 2012 г.
A haunted house but instead of scary monsters its 15 ppl asking u what u are doing with ur life & who u r marrying— lindsay elizabeth (@lindsay_fuce) 31 октября 2017 г.
oh wait thats tnksgiving
Me: *slapping my older brother in the face with his own hand* haha stop hitting yourself, why are you hitting yourself— Not Sara (@smithsara79) 11 декабря 2017 г.
Sister-in-law: *crying* is this why you wanted an open casket
[buying a dog]— the pan-midwesterner (@panmidwest) 16 января 2018 г.
hi yes i want to be absolutely devastated in like 11 years or so
I finally got my average resting heart rate down to 65 beats per minute. Only 65 more to go.— Eric Sprankle, PsyD (@DrSprankle) 19 июля 2018 г.
Nobody talks about Jesus' miracle of having 12 close friends in his 30s— Lego Skeleton of Joseph Smith (@Mormonger) 18 марта 2018 г.
I graduated from law school 6 years ago with $250,000 of student loan debt. But after years of hard work and tens of thousands of dollars of payments, I can officially say that I now owe $315,000.— Optimize Your Life (@MattLaneWrites) 18 сентября 2018 г.
the next call of duty should be a realistic RPG that starts with you working at little ceasars and an army recruiter lies to you at the mall— jack (@jackdwagner) 1 сентября 2017 г.
Me: please grab some updog on the way home— Wilfredo (@smells_fine) 30 апреля 2017 г.
ExWife: for the last time the kids and I are never coming back
Me: not much what's up with you?
Tired of being single? Just lower your standards a bit. My new girlfriend is a coconut taped to a mop.— Mike Bianchi (@Mike_Bianchi) 1 января 2016 г.
me to my anxiety: people are focused on themselves. they're not thinking about you— jaboukie young-white (@jaboukie) 18 декабря 2016 г.
me: that's not what i meant
God: then you become a butterfly— rudy mustang (@rudy_mustang) 19 апреля 2018 г.
Caterpillar: wow. the rest of my life as a butterfly
God: yeah lol the "rest"
Caterpillar: how long
Caterpillar: how long God
Kids, stay in school and get a good degree so you can spend 40% of your life on conference calls— the hippo account (@InternetHippo) 29 января 2018 г.
You’ll grow up not every really knowing if you deserve love, but one day you’ll meet someone who loves you, and you’ll be able to accept yourself. Then, once they really get to know you, they’ll find you unbearable and leave, but the important thing is to stay hydrated.— Frankie Boyle (@frankieboyle) 20 июля 2018 г.
Let’s play a game of MILLENNIAL MONOPOLY. The rules are simple, you start with no money, you can’t afford anything, the board is on fire for some reason and everything is your fault.— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) 6 мая 2018 г.
me at 14: can’t wait to travel the whole world once i’m earning my own money— Scott Dodds (@itsBOMBARDIER) 22 июня 2018 г.
me now: mustn’t forget that tupperware at work, it’s my only one
doctor: [handing me my new born baby] I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it— rav (@Doughbvy) 14 августа 2018 г.
me: [handing baby back to him] bring me the one my wife made
A job is more than a paycheck. It's also a place where you cry in the bathroom— Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad) 4 апреля 2018 г.
me at 6 y/o: bilingual, genius iq, mentally healthy, able to do math— mel (@anemicfatty) 30 апреля 2018 г.
me at 18 y/o: illiterate, health is nonexistent, and needs a calculator to solve 6+8
[concert]— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) 9 мая 2017 г.
SINGER: hows everyone doin tonight
ME (from the back in a normal speaking voice): it's actually been a tough few months