The Worst Trait of Intelligent People Has Been Revealed
Imagine you're having a rough day and you need someone to vent to. In front of you are figures like Albert Einstein, Marie Curie, and Nikola Tesla. Who would you choose to share your troubles with? Our advice to you: don't bother with any of them. Intelligent people are neither inclined to listen nor capable of sufficient empathy to truly understand you.
And it's not just us saying this, research backs it up.
One of the worst traits of intelligent people is their lack of listening skills and empathy.
If the person you're pouring your heart out to doesn't seem to be all ears, they might actually be quite brainy.
Don't mistake this as an excuse for those who disregard your words. After all, you might be someone whose listening skills aren't exactly top-notch. :)
According to content featured in Psychology Today, the smarter you are, the worse your listening skills tend to be. The more successful you are, the less likely you are to empathize. Your likelihood of attentively listening to your closest ones, such as your spouse, sibling, or friend, decreases in the same proportion.
This phenomenon is explained not by the character traits of intelligent people, but by neuroscience. So, what exactly happens in the brain of an intelligent person when you're conversing with them?
Intelligent people process information faster than others. They recognize patterns more quickly, reach conclusions faster, and produce responses at a speed above average. In most areas, this is a tremendous advantage. However, when it comes to listening, it turns into a disadvantage.
Even before the speaker finishes their sentence, the fast-working brain understands where the sentence is heading, formulates a response, and starts rehearsing it. The person speaking may still be moving their lips. But the listener has already moved on to other topics in their mind.
As you pour out your troubles, things progressively take a turn for the worse.
Intelligent and creative individuals tend to be more anxious and self-conscious. This often results in a significant reduction in their attention spans. While you might still be trying to get to point B of your problem, an interesting (but completely unrelated) topic may suddenly pop up in their minds. In such a situation, the person sharing their problem may feel like they've turned into a cartoon character, with only their mouth and arms moving.
The challenge intelligent people face (or cause others to face) when it comes to listening to problems is not due to emotional detachment, but rather the way their brains function. Although it's often perceived as them not understanding or being selfish, there's actually a completely different cognitive process at play.
1. Viewing It Not as a 'Problem' but as a 'Problem to Be Solved'
An intelligent brain automatically switches to analytical mode when faced with a problem. As you pour your heart out, it's busy in the background constructing algorithms, drawing cause-effect relationships, and trying to find the root cause. However, the person sharing their problem often doesn't want a solution. The intelligent person, by offering logical solutions, may end up frustrating them even more.
2. Hyper-Rationality Filter
Intelligent people may struggle to comprehend intense emotional reactions or cycles filled with logical fallacies. For example, they may not understand why someone continues to stay in a toxic relationship. Having to listen to a cycle they find illogical over and over again quickly drains their mental energy, and they eventually retreat into their own worlds, pretending to listen.
3. Mental Impatience and Fast Processing Speed
Intelligent people generally process information and predict outcomes faster than average. By the time you're on the second sentence of your problem, they've already guessed where the story is going, where the mistake was made, and what the outcome will be. Listening to the rest of the story (and the emotional burden it brings) may seem like a waste of time and energy to them.
4. Differences in Types of Empathy: Cognitive vs. Emotional Empathy
In psychology, empathy is divided into two:
Emotional Empathy: Directly feeling the pain or sadness that the other person is feeling (internalizing it).
Cognitive Empathy: Understanding logically why the other person feels the way they do, but not personally experiencing that emotion.
Intelligent people generally use cognitive empathy very well. They understand why you're upset in a mathematical way, but they don't want to dive into that pool of sadness with you. This can lead to them being perceived as 'cold' or 'robotic'.
A similar situation also holds true for individuals who have experienced rapid career advancement in a short period of time.
Research consistently shows that higher status is associated with poorer listening, a more negative perspective, and less respect. In fact, it's not you who is the cause, but rather your status.
The higher you ascend, the more people around you tend to self-censor, soften their concerns, hide their disagreements, and wait to understand which way you lean before expressing their true thoughts.
Of course, it's these cognitive differences that have brought you to where you are today.
The phenomenon known as "proximity communication bias", which refers to our tendency to listen less to the people we know best.
Listening less is not a trait exclusive to intelligent people or those with status. In fact, we all tend to listen less to the people in our immediate surroundings. Nick Epley, a researcher at the University of Chicago, documents a phenomenon he calls 'closeness communication bias'. According to this concept, when you encounter someone you don't know very well, you have no idea who they are or what they might say, so you really need to listen carefully. However, when it comes to your spouse, work colleague, or an old friend, you have certain patterns in your mind. As they speak, you're predicting how their sentence will end, you know how to comfort them, and you can even anticipate their objections.
Consequently, we stop genuinely listening to our close ones.
Two people who know each other very well, value each other, and have successfully communicated for years can suddenly hit a dead end. Both are convinced that the other is not listening, and in reality, they are both right.
Keşfet ile ziyaret ettiğin tüm kategorileri tek akışta gör!
Test
Gündem
Magazin
Video
Send Comment