Psychologists Reveal: Those Who Say This Sentence During Stressful Moments Have High EQ
In moments of peak stress, some people respond with biting remarks, while others resort to passive aggression or retreat into silence. According to mental health experts, those who express their feelings by saying 'I feel...' instead of placing blame when under pressure, have a high emotional intelligence (EQ).
Let's take a closer look.
This pattern establishes a bridge between raw emotion and thought.
Intense stress triggers the fight or flight response in the body, pushing individuals to react impulsively rather than act consciously. However, those who articulate their feelings by saying 'I feel...' are not running from tension; they are taking responsibility for their experiences and directing the conversation towards a constructive resolution.
A statement like 'I feel overwhelmed because the program has changed unexpectedly, I need some time to reprioritize' exhibits two fundamental components of emotional intelligence: self-awareness and self-regulation.
According to clinical psychologist Melanie McNally, the power of this pattern stems from keeping the focus on the speaker themselves.
The author of 'The Emotionally Intelligent Teen', McNally, emphasized that this pattern reveals what a person feels, why they feel it, and what they need. The psychologist provided the following example: 'I feel overwhelmed because the kitchen is so messy. I'd appreciate it if you could help me clean it.'
McNally stated that this sentence demonstrates high emotional intelligence because the person first expresses their feelings and then takes action. According to the psychologist, someone with low emotional intelligence might avoid the kitchen without realizing why, or they could make passive-aggressive or even openly aggressive comments about how messy it is.
Contrary to accusatory sentences, this pattern prevents the person on the other side from immediately going on the defensive.
When stress levels rise, individuals with low emotional intelligence typically react with accusations directed at others, such as 'You're always messing things up' or 'You're driving me crazy.' On the other hand, using the phrase 'I feel...' keeps the door open for collaborative problem-solving.
Licensed psychologist Dr. Veronica Hlivnenko has previously stated, 'People with high emotional intelligence clearly know what emotions they are experiencing at any given moment. They recognize, accept, and are not afraid to openly express these emotions.' Hlivnenko also added that this approach particularly makes conversations with someone whose emotional intelligence is still developing more honest and productive.
How is it Applied?
If expressing your emotions does not come naturally to you during tense moments, don't worry; emotional intelligence is a skill that can be honed with practice. The next time you feel your stress levels rising, you might want to try the following three steps:
Name the Emotion: If you're feeling anxious, angry, or overwhelmed, identify it directly by saying, 'I am feeling...'
Specify the Trigger: Without judging the character of the person in front of you, explain what is challenging you by saying, 'because of...'
Express Your Need: Conclude the sentence with a practical request or a boundary by saying, 'I want...'
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