Famous Psychologist Warns: Your Promising Partner Might Not Be Who You Think
We often encounter manipulation techniques in relationships from time to time. Even though these techniques often make the relationship more 'toxic', we struggle to break away from the person we love. Renowned Psychologist Ramani Rurvasula draws attention to this situation, emphasizing that partners who constantly promise a future may not be as innocent as we think. Here are the details...
Experiencing manipulation within a relationship can occasionally be a possibility. This can potentially evolve into what we might call a "toxic" situation in interpersonal relationships.
Psychologist Ramani Durvasula emphasizes the need to pay particular attention to a specific behavior. Individuals exhibiting this behavior not only bear narcissistic traits but also attempt to manipulate others.
"The other party might be lying by making future plans. It's crucial to pay attention to this behavior. Promising too much about the future is actually a behavior based on desire."
"A promise of the future is a pledge about what's to come, given with the intention of obtaining something from another person. It implies that the promise will be fulfilled if the other party in the relationship exercises patience or takes certain actions."
According to Durvasula, the true aim of the person promising the future is not to fulfill these promises. Instead, their goal is to maintain their relationships or to obtain what they desire from their partners, such as admiration and status.
Durvasula, as an example of this situation, refers to a scenario where a narcissistic individual promises their partner that they will move to a larger house the following year. However, for this to happen, the partner is asked to refrain from making any personal expenditures for a span of 12 months.
Moreover, it's highlighted that the narcissist promising their partner a future of growing old together represents the "most extreme future-faking".
Durvasula refers to this tactic as a 'complete tragedy for many people in narcissistic marriages.'
'The concept of growing old together is a total gamble,' she says. 'Because one person in the relationship will inevitably have to take care of the other. Whatever form that care might take.'
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