Murphy's Laws: 50 Rules of Bad Luck

Murphy's Laws are sayings attributed to the American engineer Edward A. Murphy Jr. about failures and sources of error in complex systems. They rest on one idea: 'If there is more than one way to get a job done, and one of them leads to an unwanted result or disaster, that possibility will certainly come true.' Here are 50 of them.If something can go wrong, it will.If something can go wrong in several ways, it will go wrong in the way that does the most damage.Even if you block every way something could go wrong, a new one appears instantly.The chance that a dropped slice of bread lands butter-side down on the carpet is proportional to how new the carpet is.A tool you drop while fixing a car always rolls to the least reachable spot.The best things in life are either illegal, immoral or fattening.There is never time to do a job right, but there is always time to fix it.A broken device works as soon as you bring it in for repair.Everyone has a get-rich plan that doesn't work.When people are free to act as they please, they imitate each other.A popular person is doomed to be disliked.Well-trodden paths lead nowhere.The shoe that fits you in the shop is the ugliest one.The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.Your phone won't ring until you step into the bath.A wrong number is never busy.The bus you have waited minutes for arrives the moment you light a cigarette.You can't find the old tool you lost until you buy a new one.If you feel good, don't worry; it will pass.If the numbers in any piece of information look too right, don't bother checking; they're wrong.Nobody listens to your speech until you make a mistake.Success comes when you are alone; failure comes in front of everyone.Negative expectations lead to negative results. Positive expectations lead to negative results too.Put away a tool you think you are done with, and you will need it immediately.Free time that turns up unexpectedly is sure to be wasted.If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.The moment both sides believe they are losing, both are right.Marriage is the shortest way to end a good relationship.You find what you are looking for in the last place you look.The worst possible conditions will sooner or later appear.The probability of something happening is inversely proportional to how desirable it is.Whenever you give something up, it comes back to you.If you don't succeed on the first try, destroy all evidence that you tried.The shopping bag you drop is always the one with the eggs in it.The more one side of you itches, the farther it is from your reach.Wherever you go, it is against the wind and uphill.The phone always rings while you are wrestling with your keys at the front door.If you explain something so clearly that no one could misunderstand it, someone will.Bread with jam always lands jam-side down.A sleeping baby wakes up when the parents fall asleep.The moment you start goofing off, the boss appears.You are most likely to run into people when you least want to be seen.People sitting in the middle of a cinema row are the last to enter the hall.Cigarette smoke always drifts toward the person who doesn't smoke.The moment you like something, it is taken out of production.The easy road is always mined.Whenever you need to study for exams you feel sleepy; after the exam you are wide awake.Intelligence x Beauty x Availability is a constant. It never changes.Tell someone the galaxy has 100 billion stars and they will believe you. Tell them a bench has just been painted and they will touch it to be sure.People look for facts, but always proceed according to their own views.

Murphy's Laws: 50 Everyday Rules for Why Things Go Wrong

If something can go wrong, it will.

You find the lost tool only after buying a new one.

The more one side of you itches, the farther it is from your reach.

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