15 Stages Of Every Unsuccessful Diet That Make You Embrace Your Fatty Belly

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Yes, summer is coming… It has already come to certain parts of the world, but why ruin the punchline. So you have very very little time for a healthy and successful diet, but we know you’ll try anyway to have that perfect beach body. So if you want your attempt to be meaningful, try to avoid going through these 15 phases. But let’s face it, you probably won’t…

1. First of all, you’ll have a look at all of your beautiful colorful summer dresses, shorts and skirts...

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And you face the bitter truth: how am I supposed to fit in these? Are these clothes even mine???

2. The minute that people around you realize that you’re not happy with your body, they start giving you advices for thousands of different diets.

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Because all of those mean bastards look like Victoria's Secret's angels.

3. And here you are. Determined and stable. You start your diet on a fine Monday morning with a whole lettuce in hand.

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Lettuce is the official sponsor of every diet worldwide.

4. And that moment comes: You realize you won't be able to eat bread, cakes, hamburgers... everything delicious in short.

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Take a last sad look at that gorgeous, splendid slice of pizza.

5. But you can't lose hope in just one day! You start learning new recipes with healthy ingredients. And you actually try them.

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Mama didn't raise a quitter.

6. Now comes the beverage part of the story: No more sugary drinks.

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So you throw away that creamy latte. See you sugary, creamy, lovely latte... in another life.

7. Sooo, it's now time to exercise. You first look at how others are doing it.

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Or how they're killing it.

8. And that sad moment that you realize exercise makes you hungry. Very, very hungry.

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You've burnt 10 calories, now time to gain 1000 more?

9. After gym, you now can't even look at those vegetables that you've been in love for the last... couple of days.

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It's over, carrots. And it's not me, it's you.

10. Now you don't eat vegetables either, you start to look for alternative nutrition sources.

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Paper is not the answer, I'm telling you.

11. So: F*ck. Now you can't think anything but food.

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During this stage, people will think you're making a move on them very often. How are they supposed to know that what you're staring at is not their eyes as blue as the ocean. It's their flesh. But don't tell that to them. Let them enjoy it for a while.

12. And the inevitable happens: You see people eating here and there.

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How could they? Don't they know you're on a diet?

13. If you keep seeing people eating, you at least look for the ones who eat a lot and not gain any weight.

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Look mommy, she eats the whole table and nothing happens.

14. This is when you start giving up: "I've been on a diet for a week. I deserved this."

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And you eat the amount of food that you normally eat in a week.

15. The bitter end: F*ck this. F*ck it all.

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Maybe next year?

How do you feel?
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