15 Alarming Signs That Reveal You’re In An Abusive Relationship!

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Domestic violence has been in the forefront of the news for years. But sometimes people can’t even notice they’re being abused since the abusive behaviour are not always as obvious as being hit or shoved, called degrading names or cussed out. It can also be emotional, but just as be painful. If any of these 15 signs below sound familiar to you, you’re probably in an abusive relationship and should get help as soon as possible.

1. During normal conversations they make you feel like you don't understand anything, or like you're always wrong.

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This may not even happen during an argument, and it’s not always subtle. 

When we talk about abusive relationships it's very common to think of physical violence, because it's the most visible kind. But it's not the only kind. In this case, we're talking about emotional abuse. The main factor in emotional abuse is the minimization and humiliation of the partner. If they’re always making you feel like trash, you’re the victim of this kind of abuse.

2. When you don't agree with them, you hear things like "you're crazy," that "this is all in your head," or that you're making a big deal out of nothing.

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This is called gaslighting, and it's a kind of emotional abuse in which your partner makes you start to question your own perception of reality.

3. They think they have the right to control your life and your choices.

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For example, they may want you to change your style of clothing. Or to take off your red lipstick. Or they tell you they don't like that you have other male (or female) friends. Or they even try to control where you "can" and "cannot" go. Have you ever heard something like "no partner of mine does/wears/says" this or that?

Jealousy, possessiveness, and controlling behaviors are all classic signs of a partner that could lead you into a violent relationship. And, this can also extend to financial abuse: they control your bills, your clothing choices, they dole out the money you can spend, etc.

4. You do things against your will for fear of how they might react if you object. Or they don't respect your wishes when you say "no," even during sex.

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You don't feel like having sex, but they insist. Or you "end up giving in" because you want to please them. "Sexual assault also happens in relationships," says Ganzarolli. "He makes you feel guilty or obligated to satisfy him. And actual rape can happen, such as forced anal sex during sex, for example."

These kind of partners don't take "no" as an answer.

5. They "never hit you," but you often have bruises they caused, or they use physical force "to calm you down."

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Physical abuse isn't always a slap or a shove. It also includes pinching, or "holding you tight" when you're arguing, leaving the marks of their fingers on your arms, or holding you by force in a hug when you don't want to be near them, for example.

6. They tell you that no one will ever love you, accept you, or want you besides them.

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"If you do this it means you don't love me" and "If you don't do that I'm leaving" are the examples of such behavior.

7. They don't react well to your achievements and the good things that happen in your life.

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If you have a nasty argument over some tiny little thing when you're out to celebrate something, it really is not a coincidence.  And they probably try to convince you that you're not good enough at anything, and make you question your self worth.

8. They don't like when you talk to other people, especially when they're not there, or they try to make you believe that the only opinion you should listen to is their own.

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And this isolation only furthers your withdrawal from family or friends who could help you get out of the abusive relationship.

9. They make you feel like you are to blame for their aggression or threats.

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Remember that you are never to blame for their actions. You are not "asking for it." You did not "make them crazy." They are responsible for their own actions, not you. Never blame yourself.

10. Their actions make you feel weird, or question whether what happened was normal.

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Don't doubt your own feelings, and find an opportunity to talk to someone you trust, like a friend you know will listen without judging you. We don't always realize what is happening, and talking can help you to better understand the situation.

11. They say that other people shouldn't interfere in a fight between a couple, and that your problems are "a couple's thing."

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Usually we see this kind of things as a domestic problem but research say otherwise. It's actually more of a public health and education problem. Everything you're going through, your neighbor is going through, the woman down the street is going through, and the woman in the next district is going through.

12. They don't harm you, but they express their aggressiveness by slamming on tables, doors, and other objects.

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This is in fact a form of a threat, to demonstrate their strength and suggest that you could be next.

13. They yell at you.

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Again: violence isn't just physical. And it's very common that the violence escalates. What starts out with just yelling can very quickly become a slap in the future.

14. They hit you.

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It may seem obvious, but it's always good to remember: no, this is not okay, it's not right, you do not deserve it, and — again — this is not your fault.

15. They are constantly being aggressive or violent, but each time they promise they won't do it anymore.

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In the cycle of violence, soon after the explosion happens (the fight, aggression, or violence), comes the period known as "the honeymoon."

This is when they show that they're repentant, they know they've been shitty, promise that they'll change, they'll go to therapy; they give you presents, say how much they love you, appreciate you, hear you, and they transform from a toad into a prince. That's when the victim gives up on reporting the abuser. But remember that though it may take hours, days, a month, a year, the cycle of violence always comes back around.

Source: BuzzFeed

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