13 Things (Not All) Women Think About During Sex

Funny-

Every man thinks he's pretty good at sex, and that he doesn't need to learn anything. He thinks he definitely satisfies his partner. Men rarely ask a woman's opinion about this, so let's get real here. Woody Allen summarizes the problem of women in one sentence: "Sex is very much like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you have to have a good hand."

1. "I wonder if he can tell that I am faking my orgasms."

2. "I spent so much money on my underwear, but he even didn't look at it."

3. "I wish it would end as soon as possible so I can finally go to sleep."

4. "I wonder if they still have those shoes that were on sale."

5. "When we have sex, it lasts shorter than a butterfly's life. Will it always be like this? Ugh! I am bored senseless."

6. "Why the f*ck is he making these pig-like snorting noises."

7. "He didn't look at my face even once; do I look ugly?"

8. "I guess he has never heard of foreplay."

9. "My ex was five times better than this."

10. "What? He is asking for oral? How the f*ck am I supposed to find his penis in that Amazon rain forest down there?"

11. "Yep, for sure this has never happened to him before. It is just the vodka. Yep, for sure."

12. "I hope he doesn't think that I can possibly be enjoying this. Can you pretty please stop licking my ear?"

13. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to imagine Johnny Depp for a while."

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